Describe your own experiences with trying (and perhaps failing) to change. Could it be that the problem was not a lack of effort, but a lack of proper training? Explain.
What comes to mind first is my many attempts to read the Bible daily so that I could read it through. I have tried reading it from beginning to end, with and without the help of a reading plan, we a guide that took me to a different section of the Bible each day, one year, two year and three year reading plans; none of the attempts seem to last longer than a week. My longest stretch was at camp last summer where I did keep up my reading for two months.
I know that I have changed some things, usually not just by trying hard but by replacing the time I spent on those with spending time on something else. Is that proper training?
What comes to mind as you read about narratives that you have formed your way of thinking about the world?
I know there are definitely some good and bad narratives that I have inherited from my family. Sometimes the same narrative is both good and bad. I know that part of the message from my family is that when you are doing God's will, I can do whatever He asks of me, however at times I know I interpret that as if I should be able to do anything I put my mind to and set myself at tasks which I do not allow myself to fail. I always feel horrible when I have fail at something. I know there are some really good narratives I carry too, like trust in God no matter what is happening because He has promised to take care of me, even when that means saying no because what I want is not what is good for me.
Have you practiced spiritual exercises (such as prayer, Bible reading or solitude) in your life, and if so, with what intention and what result?
There have been many times where I pick up a spiritual exercise and practice it for a while. Sometimes I feel convicted in a Bible study that I don't read my Bible regularly enough, sometimes in a class I am challenged to do a retreat in solitude. Prayer is something that I couldn't live without but I am very sporadic with it. I may take a morning in deep prayer this week but next week only pray in two minute mini prayers or see a face online or in the hallway and pray for them quickly.
What has been your experience of Christian fellowship or community?
Overall, I have had amazing experiences with community: my church family growing up, my house church family here. They really are my family, odd relatives included. But I love them just as much as my own family, really it is only in community that we can know and understand love. I hurt for my friends when I see them pull away from community or say that they can do the Christian life just attending an online church. It's not how we were created to be. Even in my own life, it is when I am depressed and hurting when I pull away even though that is when I need people the most.
How do you see the Holy Spirit interacting with the three other components of change?
I liked the way that James Smith laid out this section of the chapter. The way that the Holy Spirit interacts with components of change are fairly obvious head knowledge, at least it is in a Bible school. In my life, I guess I see all three, although through community most strongly. I find it is easiest to miss things that deal with only my own life. I don't have the words to explain how I feel God's subtle direction or how a passage of Scripture is suddenly illuminated for me. I will have to think on this more because I'm sure they will want something like this for my grad portfolio.
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